The Birth of Gilbert, Part 2/3 - Working with the Queer Community
I chatted with Pete and Cal about photographing their birth on a video call for about 10-15 minutes and fell absolutely in love. I wanted to be the one to document their birth and provide doula support during labor. I could tell they were incredible human beings, their story was both heartwarming and intriguing, and, as all birthing people do,
They deserved the support during labor and birth to feel empowered and safe.
Cal explained how they both identify as transmasculine and then asked me,
“What experience do you have working with the queer community?”
Here’s where I get awkward.
What I want to say is:
I feel very comfortable being in the queer community. In fact, several of my LGBTQ+ friends have jokingly (or not jokingly) given me honorary lesbian status because I check many of the stereotypically boxes:
Used to drive a Subaru.
Just went to an Indigo Girls show. I’ve seen them live at least five times.
College roommate was a lesbian and head of the Women’s Center on campus.
Been to Lilith Fair. Bought the T-shirt.
Rocked Birkenstocks before they were trendy.
Was insistent on using Pandora Pads (for about two months).
Felt safer and had more fun dancing at Sisters than at a typical college night club.
Didn’t shave my legs for over a year.
But the truth is that I am a cis-gender, straight, neurotypical (that one may be up for debate) white woman with no visible disability.
I can only imagine moving through this world as something other than what I am.
I know the privilege I gain in the world simply because of how I was born. Even though it can be difficult and feel terribly unfair being a woman in a culture made for men, it could be so much harder if I was more “other.”
And don’t get me wrong. I I love men. I’m particularly fond of one certain male who occupies my household.
All of this goes through my head in the seconds before I reply to Pete and Cal, “Well, I’m not queer myself. . .” And then I must have awkwardly explained how I want to support them through their birth however I can. Thankfully, it was a good-enough answer for them to hire me. Documenting and supporting their birth was one of the most rewarding experiences of my career.
You can see more from The Birth of Gilbert HERE.
P.S. A subset of images from the Birth of Gilbert won a Family Story Award from the international documentary photography organization This is Reportage. Thanks to Pete and Cal for allowing me to share their story.